I find that focusing on media such as TV, fashion magazines, and music videos puts a lot of images into my head that shows what one needs to look like to be loved -- according to the world. All the times you failed, all the things you did which you are ashamed of, how your body does not look how you think it should.
All of these negatives create a huge culture of self-condmenation. Do you condemn yourself continuously? Do you believe all the negatives you give yourself?
I did. Despite being a school counselor and telling kids daily to give themselves put ups not put downs, I was constantly barraging myself with negatives. About anything and everything.
I knew God wanted me to "hold every thought captive" and that He loved me, but I just totally believed all the gobbledegook going around in my head and was hopelessly unable to stop the nasty, negativeness that pervaded my brain.
How I got rid of that constant stream of self-condemnation:
These were the steps I took to get those negative comments to leave forever:
1. I understood and agreed with the idea that any words of condemnation ARE NOT FROM GOD. Remember "HE HAS NEVER HAD A BAD THOUGHT ABOUT YOU."
1. I prayed, asking God for discernment and wisdom to hear and identify any condemnation.
2. I prayed with power and might (don't be afraid to get loud when you pray like this. I find praying when I am alone in the car works really well). I told condemnation to leave me forever! I know that the Bible says there is "no condemnation in Christ." I told that condemnation to leave in the name of Jesus. I told condemnation I would no longer be listening to anything it had to say to me.
3. God gave me discernment to hear specific negative words or comments I was saying to myself. Whenever it happened I would take 1-2 minutes and pray aloud telling it to leave. I would no longer think about this, in the name of Jesus. God has forgiven me (if it was a sin) and I was certainly not going to allow any thought patterns or strong holds associated with this condemnation to continue, in the name of Jesus.
4. I would put myself back into that thought for a minute - purposely thinking about the situation that triggered the condemnation. I would ask myself, "How do you feel?" If I felt nothing, great! I was done. If I felt fear, sadness, anxiety, etc. I would identify the feelings and say a prayer like this, "Fear, sadness, worry associated with this negative thought you will leave NOW in the name of Jesus. You have no place here!" Now, think of the situation that triggered again, any negative emotions remaining? If there are, repeat this process until there are none and you feel absolutely nothing.
5. I worked on this process for about a week. Within a week there was no self-condemnation present in my head anymore. I mean, you know how people say they are thinking about nothing and they really have nothing going on in their head? That is the way it suddenly felt. Nothing. No negative comments, no self hatred, nothing. Wow! True freedom!
Just a few more thoughts on this process:
- You have to be willing to put effort into this. God wants you to have this freedom. But, you need to take the time (generally, 2-5 minutes will actually be enough time) to attack this problem head on each time a negative thought enters your head.
- When you are praying - pray aloud. Your words have power! You don't have to be loud when you pray. If a condemning thought popped into my brain and I was around others I would take a minute to use the restroom or walk to a quiet spot in room and whisper (still aloud) my prayer.
-Praise God as you are emotionally healed and freed from these words that have plagued you for years!
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